{ch-ch-changes}

Well here we are at 18 weeks, almost the halfway point! I feel really settled in to this pregnancy now. That sounds strange but early on it seemed so much in my head, and now it's out there for the world to see. The question I get the most (especially at work) is "How are you feeling?". And the short answer to that is "Great!". People are expecting me to still feel bad I guess, but I am feeling wonderful. I felt a little guilty there for a while saying that since two of my coworkers are in their first trimesters and feeling horrible but I have decided to focus on being grateful that so far pregnancy agrees with me.

My belly has definitely popped out and that has been a gradual change that all of a sudden has me feeling different in public. I feel very conspicuous and vulnerable and empowered all at the same time.

The nature of the work I do has a reputation for being emotionally hard on pregnant moms. So far I have been ok but this week I got a double whammy within a few hours. First I went to one of the scariest deliveries I have ever seen. It really freaked me out. Thankfully that baby was ok. The second incident was absolutely tragic in a place where tragedies are common. Basically a healthy baby died of no apparent reason and despite the best efforts of the NICU and PICU could not be saved. I have cried for many babies but the intensity of what I felt after this code was totally new. It shook me to my core. Thankfully I didn't have to go back to work that night. I feel like I am processing it well but both that code and the delivery brought out feelings that I can only attribute to this pregnancy and the way I feel about our baby, my fears, and the reality that despite the best efforts of medicine anything can happen.

I got to spend the day after that shift with Danny watching our friends Luis and Gissel's baby Ezekiel. The perfect remedy for a hard night at work. Zeke is almost a year old and so much fun! Check out the pics of him. You can't deny how cute this kid is :)

fascinated with our hamster Walter

pulling up on everything

with his momma

So now I am taking guesses- do you think Omelette is a boy or a girl? Most people at my work think it is a girl (one said I am giving off "girl vibes"). Even the mom of one of my patients felt so sure of the old wive's tale that was accurate for her kids that she brought pink and purple onesies for me! Exactly two people have guessed boy. Most of you know that Smith men beget Smith men, but for those of you not familiar with Danny's side of the family I will just say that one girl has been born into it in five generations. But go with your gut! Leave a comment and let me know what you're guessing!

Here's a pic of my 18 week belly...

our growing family!