{ch-ch-changes}

Well here we are at 18 weeks, almost the halfway point! I feel really settled in to this pregnancy now. That sounds strange but early on it seemed so much in my head, and now it's out there for the world to see. The question I get the most (especially at work) is "How are you feeling?". And the short answer to that is "Great!". People are expecting me to still feel bad I guess, but I am feeling wonderful. I felt a little guilty there for a while saying that since two of my coworkers are in their first trimesters and feeling horrible but I have decided to focus on being grateful that so far pregnancy agrees with me.

My belly has definitely popped out and that has been a gradual change that all of a sudden has me feeling different in public. I feel very conspicuous and vulnerable and empowered all at the same time.

The nature of the work I do has a reputation for being emotionally hard on pregnant moms. So far I have been ok but this week I got a double whammy within a few hours. First I went to one of the scariest deliveries I have ever seen. It really freaked me out. Thankfully that baby was ok. The second incident was absolutely tragic in a place where tragedies are common. Basically a healthy baby died of no apparent reason and despite the best efforts of the NICU and PICU could not be saved. I have cried for many babies but the intensity of what I felt after this code was totally new. It shook me to my core. Thankfully I didn't have to go back to work that night. I feel like I am processing it well but both that code and the delivery brought out feelings that I can only attribute to this pregnancy and the way I feel about our baby, my fears, and the reality that despite the best efforts of medicine anything can happen.

I got to spend the day after that shift with Danny watching our friends Luis and Gissel's baby Ezekiel. The perfect remedy for a hard night at work. Zeke is almost a year old and so much fun! Check out the pics of him. You can't deny how cute this kid is :)

fascinated with our hamster Walter

pulling up on everything

with his momma

So now I am taking guesses- do you think Omelette is a boy or a girl? Most people at my work think it is a girl (one said I am giving off "girl vibes"). Even the mom of one of my patients felt so sure of the old wive's tale that was accurate for her kids that she brought pink and purple onesies for me! Exactly two people have guessed boy. Most of you know that Smith men beget Smith men, but for those of you not familiar with Danny's side of the family I will just say that one girl has been born into it in five generations. But go with your gut! Leave a comment and let me know what you're guessing!

Here's a pic of my 18 week belly...

our growing family!

{16 weeks}

Danny and I went in for my 16-week prenatal visit on Monday. It was another quickie appointment, and I have to say that when you go to the doctor and all they make you do is roll up your shirt a little, it's a much more pleasant experience! This visit ended up being quite the sequel to the last one in that everything that happened seemed to be related to the issues I had the last time I went.

At my 12 week appointment, they told me I had gained seven pounds in four weeks. I did not feel that I had gained nearly that much and I also was pretty sure the girl didn't weigh me correctly. The slider wasn't all the way in the 150 notch, plus she was the same one that told me I was due on November 31, the day that doesn't exist . Well this time they told me I had lost two pounds, leaving my net gain since eight weeks at five pounds. Dr. C was concerned that I wasn't eating well, which I assured him was not the case. I tried to tell him my little conspiracy theory about the scale and he didn't seem too interested in my meaningless problems, so I assured him I was and would be eating plenty of food and that seemed to appease him.

Next up, we finally got a good heartbeat on the doppler this time! I was so glad that Danny was there to hear it too. Since I work with newborns the extremely fast fetal heart rate wasn't unusual to me, but it was so amazing to hear that quick little hearbeat and know that it is our baby I am hearing. Sigh. I'm having a little Hallmark moment here.

My final issue which I know I covered at great length in an earlier post is my worries about Dr. C. I made an early appointment this time in hopes that he wouldn't be so rushed, and somehow my little plan worked. Short as my visit was, he actually made eye contact and addressed Danny too. This was very encouraging. However, I have saved the best news for last (drum roll, please...): Dr. M is coming back in July!!!! I am so glad! I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see an OB I did not choose throughout my entire pregnancy. Dr. M. is so nice and I am so relieved!

I can't believe that we're almost 17 weeks already. Time is flying by. Next up on the list of things to do are talking to my manager at work about filling out my disability forms and getting all of those ducks in a row as well as scheduling our birth classes at the hospital. Our nephews Jacob and Dakota are coming out in a few weeks and my mom is coming out in July for the big ultrasound. That, by the way, is on July 14. Danny and I are in such suspense to find out if Omelette is a boy or a girl! So we have some busy times ahead of us. November is getting closer and closer!

{little update}

We are still here and gestating, now at 15.5 weeks. Last weekend I got to debut my little bump in a super cute actual maternity dress passed on to me by my friend Gissel. Of course, I forgot to get a picture! At the party for which I wore said dress, I got my first taste of complete strangers touching my belly and I have been quite surprised to find that it doesn't bother me like I thought it would (so far at least!). On the baby forums I read the vast majority of mamas-to-be seem ready to bite off the hands of those stupid enough to touch the belly. I thought it would make me uncomfortable but it was all ok! I also bought some maternity jeans last weekend. Finally, so stretchy and so comfortable! And plenty of room to grow :)

The cloth diaper planning is coming along. I told Danny that since the baby will be in our room and I don't have a nursery to obsess over, I will nest by obsessing over our stash. I have chosen the prefolds and will probably get some flats too, just to try out. I have all our covers and pocket dipes picked out. Once we find out the sex we will probably make some color adjustments but for the most part we will stay gender-neutral so we can use them for future children. A coworker of mine generously gave us two very nice sized pockets her son has outgrown. It is so nice to know a person in real life who is cd-ing! Everyone else I've talked to about it is online.

People always talk about the crazy pregnancy hormones that make women psychotic and unreasonable. I have had only one brief brush with those hormones. I have instead been riding a wave of beautiful, lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy feelings. The world is beautiful through this set of hormones. It's like everything is lit in soft light, with slight slow motion and a nice golden wash. I love it. I love you. I love my life. Thank you pregnancy.

That's pretty much what's new around here. My 16-week appointment is on Monday and we should be able to hear Omelette on the doppler then. We are very excited about that!