{getting closer}

Well, we are down to single-digits in weeks! It's pretty unbelievable. Today I am 32 weeks and 1 day. It is hitting me pretty hard now that we will be seeing Elliott (most likely) in six to eight weeks! I am so excited to meet him, though I always tell him that he has to keep cooking till my mom gets out here.

The bulk of our diaper stash arrived this week. I ordered 36 infant sized prefolds from Green Mountain Diapers which I am told are the best quality and I think are pretty reasonably priced. I can't get over how cheap cloth diapering can be. These should last up to about 15 pounds. There are so many cd options to choose from- prefolds, fitteds, pockets, all-in-ones. Prefolds and covers are by far the cheapest. As you go up in price you are pretty much paying for convenience. But the basics are all you really need. So with the Snappis on the way and the Thirties I wrote about last time, we are almost there. I would love to get a few more covers and some fitteds and pockets to try out. Plus we need the diaper pail liner, wetbags for storage away from home, and wool wash, but we are getting there! One the stash is all ready I'm going to post some pics of it.

I got a note from my doctor this week stating when I need to go out on medical leave from work. My doctor wrote that I should go out at 36 weeks, but the disability only lets you go out at 38 weeks unless you have a medical condition. I am hoping they take into account how physically demanding my job is. So when I am going out is up in the air. All I know is the 12 hour shifts are getting harder and harder, even with the awesome primary assignment I have right now. Elliott is taking up so much room! When I open the side of the isolette my belly practically sits in there with my patient! So now my note is (hopefully) getting processed and I will hear something soon. The whole process is pretty confusing.

We started our prepared childbirth (aka lamaze) classes last week. I loved it and Danny found it somewhat humiliating (the teacher made they guys wear a backbag around front loaded with 25 lbs of weight). I don't plan on going all natural (just being realistic about my pain threshold) but I definitely want to be prepared for any situation. Overall the class is pretty fun. It is yet another reality check and I can't wait to go back this Monday!

Here are the pictures I promised last time...

30 weeks

32 weeks 1 day (today!)

{third trimester!}

Yes I know I am a horrible slacker.

So, what's new...

I have moved up to maternity tops at work. Stretchy and comfy. I love it. And now everyone talks about how huge I am! People that ask me when I am due are shocked by the answer. Yes, I have 11 weeks to go. Yes, I know I am so big already :)

The first of the inevitable stretch marks appeared last week. Not one or two, but a couple of serious batches that appeared overnight. Sigh. I knew they were coming but they hit me over the head with the reality that my body is never going to be the same. But you are worth it, Elliott. Even if I did cry a little when I saw them.

I have been researching detergents for when we start cloth diapering (most brands will cause build-up and leaking/repellancy over time) and ordered some samples of the latest hot thing on a cloth diapering forum I follow. The hype is warranted. I love it! It's called Rockin' Green Cloth Diaper Detergent but I will be using it on all our laundry! I was sold when it took out that towel smell that towels have no matter how much you wash them. They smell like clean now. My favorite scent so far is cherry lemonade, but I love that it doesn't linger on the clothes. Even Danny likes it, and he was pretty skeptical of my latest "crunchy" idea.

Speaking of diapers, I ordered two diaper covers (Thirsties Duo Wraps) to check out and they look great. Not to mention they were seconds for 4 bucks off each and I can't find a single problem with them! I am now stalking the Thirsties outlet for the other colors I want.

In official prenatal care news, I went for my glucose screen at 27 weeks. I waited anxiously for the results, afraid of the 3-hour fasting glucose screen I would have to take if I didn't pass this one. So when I got the message from the nurse at my OB's office to call back, I was so bummed! However, I was surprised to hear that my results were normal. The second test they did that day showed that I am anemic. So I started taking iron and the fatigue and shortness of breath that had snuck up on me in recent weeks is much improved.

I am 29 weeks now and the irrational fear of prematurity is slowly fading. This pregnancy has been wonderful and healthy and Elliott is doing great but seeing the reality of what can go wrong every time I work puts the worst possible scenario in my head all the time. At this point I have to make the effort to not let my mind wander and just focus on the infant before me. That being said, while my ultrasound showed an anatomically perfect little boy and the prematurity fear is fading, I pray every day for a safe delivery and transition period. I have seen some scary things at work during this pregnancy but I remind myself that God is in control and what I see is a very skewed representation of what most families experience.

Elliott is now regularly doing some serious acrobatics! I love feeling him squirm and kick. He is most active at night, which works out great because I am awake to feel it. The other night I could feel the outline of his little bottom pressing against my belly!

I have been very bad at doing regular belly shots the past several weeks so I will put up some older pics until I get my act together!

my mommy and me in July

Krispy Kreme goodness

24 week belly

we can't wait to meet you, Elliott!

{25 week update}

I know it has been a very, very long time since I have posted an update...::sheepish glance::... sorry! I was actually about to give up blogging at all, but my friend told me yesterday that she still checks up on this thing so I will stop being lazy and post. I do have an excuse for some of my absence though. For about a month we had 2-3 people staying in our little 1br apartment, and it was crazy! We love them though (our nephews Jacob and Dakota, and my mommy) so it was a blessing and so much fun to have them with us. My mom came out for the "big" ultrasound (more on that soon in case you don't already know the result) and the boys' visit overlapped hers just long enough that they got a sneak peek at their little cousin too. While they were here we spent a lot of time with our friends Luis and Gissel, and their little one Ezekiel (who just turned one, yes I am his very proud tia) was very popular with everyone from the land of far far away.
So I am very excited to announce (better late than never, right?) that we will be having a little boy in November! His name is Elliott. His middle name is my maiden name, which I am sure most of you know, but I won't post it on here since this is all out on the interwebs and it is so unusual. But there it is :) The ultrasound was an amazing experience! One of the most surreal things about it was feeling him move and seeing him move on the screen at the same time. We got some very cute 3-d pics of him and I have to say, he looks alot like Danny in profile. He appears to have some features that are very distinctive of Danny's family... the mouth and upper lip. Yay! No skinny lips for my little boy! My sisters are all very happy about this.
He measured exactly on track with my EDD and was already over a pound just one day shy of 22 weeks. We are now at 25 weeks. My belly button is almost gone... the top has already loosened, which was a very strange sensation for about a day. I feel him moving all the time. It has become one of the greatest joys of my life to feel his little kicks and squirms. I can't help but smile. And the boy is a night owl just like his parents.
One of my coworkers commented to me last night that she hadn't heard I was pregnant but last week she saw me and thought that I looked pregnant. And not because of my belly (which apparently my dark scrubs hide very well). She said I just looked happy, that by my expression she thought I might be expecting. I had no idea that the way I feel was plastered all over my face like that. But I am definitely happier than I have ever been before. Elliott isn't even born yet but I feel so many new and strong things- about him, about Danny, about our life.
Danny and I celebrated our 7th anniversary this past Monday. It was so special to be expecting our baby (finally!) while reflecting on the years we have had together. For so long I thought I was ready to get pregnant, to start our family, but I can say without a doubt that this is the right time for us. We both have enjoyed this time together and are looking forward to the next chapter of our lives as a bigger family. And I am so happy for him to be the father of my baby :) He is going to be an awesome dad.
Things are getting more and more real as the weeks go by. The movement was a biggie. Now thanks to my mom (her particular variable of “grandma” to be determined) and Gissel, we have a growing stash of baby items in our room. We’ve spent hours at stores and online deciding what particular registry items will be just perfect for Elliott. I just mailed off my birth preparation class registration form, and at my doctor’s appointment yesterday they told me to go ahead and register at the hospital. What?!? It’s really sinking in.
Work continues to hit me a little harder. On the day I hit 24 weeks I heard in group report (“huddle”) about the little 24-weeker born on day shift that they tried so hard to resuscitate but ultimately couldn’t save. I think about all the 24 and 25 weekers I’ve admitted and cared for, and how unimaginably freaked out their moms must have been. I can’t imagine giving birth right now. I think this is going to have to be another post, there are so many things I could say on this subject.
To end on a happy note here, I am glad to write that my original OB Dr. M is back in the office! I saw her yesterday. In new developments, the replacement doc, Dr. C, has apparently joined the practice on a permanent basis and shares all call with Dr M. So it’s basically a 50-50 shot when it comes to who will attend Elliott’s delivery. However, Danny and I have come to like Dr. C better and feel more comfortable with him. Maybe his load is lighter now but he just seems to be taking more time with us at our visits and at the same time his efficient manner is very reassuring. I don’t know, we’re just feeling better about him overall. So I plan to make my appointments with both of them to get to know them both better.
Sorry this was so very very long! I hope to not be such a slacker in the future  And more pictures will be coming soon too!

{ch-ch-changes}

Well here we are at 18 weeks, almost the halfway point! I feel really settled in to this pregnancy now. That sounds strange but early on it seemed so much in my head, and now it's out there for the world to see. The question I get the most (especially at work) is "How are you feeling?". And the short answer to that is "Great!". People are expecting me to still feel bad I guess, but I am feeling wonderful. I felt a little guilty there for a while saying that since two of my coworkers are in their first trimesters and feeling horrible but I have decided to focus on being grateful that so far pregnancy agrees with me.

My belly has definitely popped out and that has been a gradual change that all of a sudden has me feeling different in public. I feel very conspicuous and vulnerable and empowered all at the same time.

The nature of the work I do has a reputation for being emotionally hard on pregnant moms. So far I have been ok but this week I got a double whammy within a few hours. First I went to one of the scariest deliveries I have ever seen. It really freaked me out. Thankfully that baby was ok. The second incident was absolutely tragic in a place where tragedies are common. Basically a healthy baby died of no apparent reason and despite the best efforts of the NICU and PICU could not be saved. I have cried for many babies but the intensity of what I felt after this code was totally new. It shook me to my core. Thankfully I didn't have to go back to work that night. I feel like I am processing it well but both that code and the delivery brought out feelings that I can only attribute to this pregnancy and the way I feel about our baby, my fears, and the reality that despite the best efforts of medicine anything can happen.

I got to spend the day after that shift with Danny watching our friends Luis and Gissel's baby Ezekiel. The perfect remedy for a hard night at work. Zeke is almost a year old and so much fun! Check out the pics of him. You can't deny how cute this kid is :)

fascinated with our hamster Walter

pulling up on everything

with his momma

So now I am taking guesses- do you think Omelette is a boy or a girl? Most people at my work think it is a girl (one said I am giving off "girl vibes"). Even the mom of one of my patients felt so sure of the old wive's tale that was accurate for her kids that she brought pink and purple onesies for me! Exactly two people have guessed boy. Most of you know that Smith men beget Smith men, but for those of you not familiar with Danny's side of the family I will just say that one girl has been born into it in five generations. But go with your gut! Leave a comment and let me know what you're guessing!

Here's a pic of my 18 week belly...

our growing family!

{16 weeks}

Danny and I went in for my 16-week prenatal visit on Monday. It was another quickie appointment, and I have to say that when you go to the doctor and all they make you do is roll up your shirt a little, it's a much more pleasant experience! This visit ended up being quite the sequel to the last one in that everything that happened seemed to be related to the issues I had the last time I went.

At my 12 week appointment, they told me I had gained seven pounds in four weeks. I did not feel that I had gained nearly that much and I also was pretty sure the girl didn't weigh me correctly. The slider wasn't all the way in the 150 notch, plus she was the same one that told me I was due on November 31, the day that doesn't exist . Well this time they told me I had lost two pounds, leaving my net gain since eight weeks at five pounds. Dr. C was concerned that I wasn't eating well, which I assured him was not the case. I tried to tell him my little conspiracy theory about the scale and he didn't seem too interested in my meaningless problems, so I assured him I was and would be eating plenty of food and that seemed to appease him.

Next up, we finally got a good heartbeat on the doppler this time! I was so glad that Danny was there to hear it too. Since I work with newborns the extremely fast fetal heart rate wasn't unusual to me, but it was so amazing to hear that quick little hearbeat and know that it is our baby I am hearing. Sigh. I'm having a little Hallmark moment here.

My final issue which I know I covered at great length in an earlier post is my worries about Dr. C. I made an early appointment this time in hopes that he wouldn't be so rushed, and somehow my little plan worked. Short as my visit was, he actually made eye contact and addressed Danny too. This was very encouraging. However, I have saved the best news for last (drum roll, please...): Dr. M is coming back in July!!!! I am so glad! I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see an OB I did not choose throughout my entire pregnancy. Dr. M. is so nice and I am so relieved!

I can't believe that we're almost 17 weeks already. Time is flying by. Next up on the list of things to do are talking to my manager at work about filling out my disability forms and getting all of those ducks in a row as well as scheduling our birth classes at the hospital. Our nephews Jacob and Dakota are coming out in a few weeks and my mom is coming out in July for the big ultrasound. That, by the way, is on July 14. Danny and I are in such suspense to find out if Omelette is a boy or a girl! So we have some busy times ahead of us. November is getting closer and closer!

{little update}

We are still here and gestating, now at 15.5 weeks. Last weekend I got to debut my little bump in a super cute actual maternity dress passed on to me by my friend Gissel. Of course, I forgot to get a picture! At the party for which I wore said dress, I got my first taste of complete strangers touching my belly and I have been quite surprised to find that it doesn't bother me like I thought it would (so far at least!). On the baby forums I read the vast majority of mamas-to-be seem ready to bite off the hands of those stupid enough to touch the belly. I thought it would make me uncomfortable but it was all ok! I also bought some maternity jeans last weekend. Finally, so stretchy and so comfortable! And plenty of room to grow :)

The cloth diaper planning is coming along. I told Danny that since the baby will be in our room and I don't have a nursery to obsess over, I will nest by obsessing over our stash. I have chosen the prefolds and will probably get some flats too, just to try out. I have all our covers and pocket dipes picked out. Once we find out the sex we will probably make some color adjustments but for the most part we will stay gender-neutral so we can use them for future children. A coworker of mine generously gave us two very nice sized pockets her son has outgrown. It is so nice to know a person in real life who is cd-ing! Everyone else I've talked to about it is online.

People always talk about the crazy pregnancy hormones that make women psychotic and unreasonable. I have had only one brief brush with those hormones. I have instead been riding a wave of beautiful, lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy feelings. The world is beautiful through this set of hormones. It's like everything is lit in soft light, with slight slow motion and a nice golden wash. I love it. I love you. I love my life. Thank you pregnancy.

That's pretty much what's new around here. My 16-week appointment is on Monday and we should be able to hear Omelette on the doppler then. We are very excited about that!

{second trimester}

As of last Friday we are now officially in the second trimester! Time is flying by. I have been struggling a little with the changes in my body for the past few weeks. Not because I don't want to gain the weight for the baby but because you just couldn't tell that I am pregnant. I want to look pregnant! For once I want to not worry about my belly looking fat (as many women can understand) and for the first three plus months of pregnancy my belly has looked fat. Not a cute baby bump. Chubby.

So the past few days I have been so excited to notice that Omelette has popped out a little! I'm not all the way there yet, obviously, but I think strangers could tell that I am with child and not just best buddies with a buffet somewhere (even though I do miss me some Golden Corral, aka the Golden Cow in my family). So here come the first "belly shots"!*


Me at 8 weeks, which is the closest thing I have to a pre-preg shot.



Me last Thursday, which for some reason I kept thinking was Friday. Those are the same jeans, but I can't button them anymore and now wear a bella band.

Yay Omelette!

*I am not one to use unnecessary quotations, I am just reluctant to call these actual belly shots... for now :)